When Obedience Feels Like Risk

Yesterday I finally shared publicly about the new book — after being a little hidden and MIA for a while — and the response was incredible. So much encouragement, so much love, so many kind words.

And I panicked.

Not because I’m worried about sales. Not because I’m depending on this book to do anything for me. I just want God to use it. But if I’m being real, I panicked because I feel worn.

Battered.

A little war-torn.

And for a moment, I worried that maybe the concept would come across as bitter or sad — not from a place of victory. Even though I’ve read it three times. Even though I spent five months unpacking it and five years living it. I still panicked.

So I did what any normal person would do, I woke up before the sun and read it again… just to make sure it didn’t suck. And instead, I sat there and cried.

I cried through every page.

Every storm.

Every lesson.

Every little piece of wisdom God whispered through those hard seasons. I thanked Him for it all, for the pain that taught me to listen, for the storms that forced me to stand, for the tears that watered new beginnings.

Because here’s the truth: being obedient is hard. Stepping out in faith and taking risks — especially when you and risk don’t get along — is terrifying.

Even after walking with Jesus most of my life, after years in ministry, after all the titles and all the sermons… titles don’t give you courage. Surrender does.

This book wasn’t written to impress anyone. It was written as an act of obedience — a quiet “yes” in the middle of exhaustion. A way of saying